I kind of knew this was going to happen. I also know that I'm overreacting. Or at least I think maybe I'm overreacting.
We sent our invitations out on June 11th. So far, out of 55 invitations, we've gotten 6 back. Out of a list of nearly 110 invited guests, we have 13 confirmed guests. THIRTEEN.
Conspiracy Keanu courtesy of memecreator
Our deadline isn't until August 17th and Josh assures me that we'll have a ton of guests show up. I'm not so worried about people not showing up (although the thought does scare me a little), I'm worried about not being able to properly prepare.
Having a firm grasp of how many guests we're going to have is essential. How many linens, how much candy for the favors, how many chairs at the reception...all are decisions that will be made based on our RSVPs.
I know that I'm prematurely freaking out, but I have good reason.
A few years ago, I threw a baby shower for a close friend. I sent out fifty hand-made invitations and waited for the RSVPs to roll in. I waited. And waited. I waited some more. In the end, I received ten RSVPs. Close to forty (FORTY! No joke!) women showed up. Apparently, in our geographic location and within our culture, an RSVP is a suggestion. I'm totally afraid that this is what's happening again, that I'll plan for about forty people and ninety will show up-and only half of our guests will be able to sit at the ceremony or eat at the reception. My lazy-procrastinator inner self is kicking and screaming at the thought of having to hunt people down to ask if they're coming to our wedding.
Did your RSVPs come right away? Am I panicking too early?
I can answer these questions easily for you! We had about 8 RSVP's come immediately, and they were from my parents friends (all responsible adults in their 50's+). I then got the work RSVP's (cause they work with me) and FI got the one work RSVP. After that, it stopped for several weeks. Then, about a week before the deadline, many more rolled in. At the deadline, out of about 35 RSVP's, I was missing 6. 2 were lost in the mail, one was being held because they "didn't know" (I told them to know fast cause my caterer still charged for maybe), 1 never got the invite, 1 wasn't sure they could come because it was Ramadan and they had to leave early (I said PLEASE come!!), and another one was in the wedding party and I needed to know if he had a date, and the final one was my sister who wanted to bring a friend, but wasn't sure who.
ReplyDeleteI think I practically leapt at the mail box the last week and wanted to call immediately so I could start doing tables and favours and such, but I waited it out and... well... it didn't make a difference. Don't panic yet! I bet, like me, you will get about 1/2 the last week.
Man, I am having similar problems. Though I've received more than 13 RSVP's (I'm at about 85), I still have 130 that I haven't heard from yet. We only have 14 days til our RSVP date, so I'm starting to freak out. I received a bunch right away but now I have been receiving only 1-2 a day. I'm planning on calling whoever I don't hear from by a week after our RSVP date, because I too need to know how much stuff to order/buy. Why can't people just RSVP quickly? I know that any wedding invite I get after this, I will respond pronto.
ReplyDeleteI think you've got a while before panic is 100% justified--after all, a lot of people today (for some strange, unfathomable reason) think that the date on the RSVP card is WHEN to send it back. That, and people procrastinate. Or have to request time off to travel in some cases.
ReplyDeleteAlmost makes you want to put RSVP ASAP (or STAT!) on the cards, just to get the point across. Almost.
First of all, hey girl hey.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I am terrified of this happening to me too because I know my friends too well. I was reading a little into etiquette for this sort of situation and you can totally nudge people to be like, "Oh hello, I'm doing fine, thanks. Have you gotten my invitation?" (While giving them the "No seriously, are you coming?" look.) I have been divvying out responsibilities to my bridesmaids, too... so it could be the sort of thing that someone helps you with? Just a friendly reminder? Maybe even through the internet?
Here's hoping you get some serious RSVPZZ.
HEY GIRL HEY! Are you a little effer too??? I always associate that with hey girl hey. Or hey girl-boy hey.
DeleteHa!
DeleteThanks for the soothing words, everyone! I know my friends will wait until the last minute to send them back, and as soon as I posted this we received another RSVP. I'm guessing they're going to be coming back to us at a very slow trickle.
ReplyDeleteWe gave our guests about 3 weeks to reply. I'm about 2 and a half weeks past our deadline still waiting for a handful a people to send theirs back. But I made a point to set the date far earlier than necessary to make it easier on myself. I think the problem for some people though is because we're still about a month and a half out they haven't decided if they're be able to come or not.
ReplyDeleteOur "reply by" date is a month out from the wedding and a lot of the invited guests are coming from out of town. What's really getting to me is that a lot of them told me three months ago that they were pretty sure they'd be coming, and I think that most of them feel this is enough of an RSVP.
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