When I last left off, Josh and I had been together for almost three years. Let me take it back from there just a bit...
After one year of college, Josh was homesick. We went back to Santa Fe over summer break with the intention of going back for the fall semester, but it didn't happen. We both got full-time jobs and decided to take classes at the community college until we were ready to go back to the university. Things were awesome between us for a while. And then, for what seemed like no reason at all, we started fighting.
The good times we had were amazing. The bad times were horrible.
It got to the point where I was completely miserable. Josh was not his usual happy-go-lucky self. He broke things off. We spent about two weeks apart in zombie mode, shambling through our everyday routines. We couldn't stay away from each other.
We developed a pattern. We would get together, enjoy a few months or even a solid year of an amazing relationship, and then we'd crash fast. We would start fighting and it would be over. We'd spend a few days or a couple of weeks apart and then one of us would make a move towards the other and we would be sucked back in again. It was insanity.
After five years of ups and downs, things started to change for Josh. I won't go into too much detail here because I really feel that that particular part story is his alone to tell. Suffice it to say that his life was not a happy place and it had little to do with our relationship. He broke things off between us and was determined to make it a permanent break this time, so much so that he started dating someone else. After all of our breaks, I found it hard to think any of them would be permanent, but this was serious.
I decided to move away from Santa Fe. It felt like the place had brought me nothing but misery for years. Also, I had no desire whatsoever to run into Josh and his new girlfriend. A new job and an old high school friend simultaneously presented me with an opportunity. I packed my things up and moved to Phoenix the day before Halloween.
The move came so easily that I knew that it was absolutely meant to be. I had no trouble transferring to a new location for my job and our hunt for a rental house so was easy, it was ridiculous. I knew that this was where I was supposed to be. I started dating again, going out with friends. I was miserable. After six months in Phoenix, things became extremely difficult. I was up to my eyeballs in debt caused by old medical bills. It was a year after the breakup and the only solution was to move back to Santa Fe.
I moved back that May and began life as a hermit. My sister was pregnant for the second time, and I spent most of my days with her to distract myself. She gave birth in October to two gorgeous baby boys and they kept me busy enough to forget how lonely I felt.
Another year went by, and then another. It had been three years since Josh and I had broken up and just as long since we had even spoken to one another. I had always held on to a little spark of hope and I'm so glad that I did, because it came in handy.
Don't worry, I promise the story gets a happy ending.
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